Steps to Not Hate Photos of Yourself
Recently our family did a photo session with an incredibly talented local photographer, Miho Grant, and as much as I coach my own clients through the topic of body image + photographs, I have to be honest and share that this was even hard for me after receiving our photos. For so many women, myself included, it is so easy to have an incredibly critical eye of our appearance in photos. We are taught to see our appearance through a harsh lens. I had to remind myself of some of these steps that I share below, to reframe and shift my thoughts about my own appearance. So, funny enough, when Miho reached out and asked if I wanted to share some of my tips with her clients, this topic spoke to me.
Let’s play out this scenario together…you’ve just taken photographs with an incredible photographer in your home, or outside in a beautiful setting - you feel great about what you think was captured - a few weeks later, you get the link to access the photographs, and you see the first photograph and….
WHAM!
You begin the self-critic spiral of hating on every single part of your body, your appearance, your everything! As you keep scrolling through the photos, the critic gets louder and louder in your head.
These beautiful moments were captured, and all of a sudden they don’t matter at all. All you can see are the flaws. You feel like sh*t and decide not to share any of the photos that you paid a lot of money for. No one will see them ever again.
Been there? I’m sure you have, because that’s how most women view photos of ourselves.
What if you took a different approach? Here are a few steps you can take towards not starting the hate spiral when you look at photos of yourself:
Remember the intention of why the photo was captured in the first place - to capture a memory, not to hate on your body. Was the photograph taken for you to sh*t talk your stomach? Or was it to capture a special moment in time with your son who just started to walk and is enjoying his first steps in the sand? Redirecting your thoughts in this way can be very helpful around photographs.
Find something great captured in the photo! Whether it be how happy you look, the composition of the photo, the sunset, how great your house looks, your child’s expression, the love you see in your partner’s eyes…something!
Take 10 seconds to look at each photograph, then move on. The longer we gaze at photos, the more likely we are to find areas to harp on. I recommend my clients take 5-10 seconds, then move on to the next photo.
Do not look at the photographs when you’re in a bad body image moment. You’re only setting yourself up for a self-critical spiral. Instead, choose a time when you’re in a good headspace to look through the photos. It’s amazing how different the experience can be.
Lastly, even if you’re not “loving” your body right now, please get in the photographs! Your children and your family deserve to know who you are/were. 100 years from now when your grandchildren are looking through photographs and they can’t find any photos of grandma what will they think? Will they have photos to say, “Wow, look at grandma she looks so happy!” Or say, “I wish we could have seen what grandma was like.” Please don’t let the latter happen.
Looking for more info on capturing photos of yourself or your family that you can love?
Miho Grant a Ridgewood-based portrait photographer working with families, seniors and kids. She specializes in timeless and authentic images that are full of emotions and true to themselves in artistic ways. You can check out her work at: https://www.mihograntphotography.com/.
