How to Respond to Diet Talk: A Guide
The combination of the beginning of summer and the gradual lifting of COVID restrictions has many people celebrating the prospect of being able to gather with their friends and family again. After almost a year and a half, people are once again starting to have weddings, attend concerts, visit relatives, go on vacation, and overall return to some form of “normal,” which is definitely something to celebrate.
However, reentering “normal” life, especially in the summer, doesn’t come without challenges. The last year and a half provided a respite from constant comments about weight, dieting, and bodies, and many of us aren’t looking forward to facing these comments again, especially in the warmer months and especially after we haven’t seen family and friends in a while.
If you’re feeling this way - you’re not alone. Here are some tactics to help you fend off diet and weight talk:
Know that you’re in control of your response to diet talk. While you can’t control what other people say and do, you can control your response. Know that you can always walk away from the situation, whether temporarily to take a quick break, or permanently if you feel uncomfortable.
Be prepared with some phrases in case someone makes a comment. If a family member or friend makes an offhand comment about your body or weight, it can be helpful to have some responses ready. A few things you can say:
● Use an “I statement” and let them know how their comment made you feel: “I felt hurt when you mentioned that it looked like I had gained weight.”
● Set a boundary: “If you mention this again, I’m going to have to walk away from this conversation.”
● Let them know your “why” and how they can support you: “I’m currently working on my relationship with my body, so those comments aren’t helpful to me right now - and it would really support me in this work I’m doing if you wouldn’t make those comments.”
● Change the subject! You can say, “I’m not interested in talking about my body, or anyone else’s for that matter. There are so many more interesting things to talk about - have you seen that new Netflix show?”
Know that you could be helping someone else. Even though it can be uncomfortable to speak up against diet and weight talk, remember that the problem goes beyond just you. Often those that make comments about others’ bodies are dealing with their own insecurities, and letting them know that their comments aren’t OK might be the thing that forces them to rethink why they’re saying those things in the first place.
Remember that you’re not alone. Chances are, most other people who are at the beach, pool or BBQ you’re at have also felt insecure about their appearance at some point. We’re only human! It can be helpful to find a trusted friend or family member who you can confide in or a “buddy” at that birthday party or bridal shower you have to attend so you know you have someone who’s on your side and can back you up if needed.
Be present. At the beach to swim or play with your kids? At the pool to sit in the sun and finally finish that book you’re reading? At a family reunion to finally see your grandma after a year? When you remind yourself about why you’re at the beach or the pool or the family reunion, then it can be easier to brush off negative comments and focus on spending quality time with your loved ones, enjoying yourself and having fun. This is easier said than done, but you’ll get better with practice, we promise.
Still need help? At Tory Stroker Nutrition, we know how challenging this post-COVID season of life can be - and we’re here to help you navigate it - reach out for more info to get the support you deserve.