How to Be An Anti-Diet Bride
Getting married is supposed to be one of the most exciting, happy times of your life! Yet if you ask any bride-to-be in the midst of wedding planning, most would tell you they’re incredibly stressed. On top of the endless to-do lists and never-ending logistics, many women feel an enormous amount of pressure to look their best on their wedding day. Unfortunately, diet culture has told us over and over that to look our best, we have to be the smallest version of ourselves - leading many women to feel the need to lose weight before the big day. (I’m sure we’ve all seen articles about “shredding for the wedding”... *cue eye roll.*) It can be especially tough if you are currently struggling with an eating disorder/disordered eating, or if you are in recovery.
While wedding stress around body image and diet is completely understandable, know that it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are five tips to help you manage the bridal planning process.
Set boundaries.
Yes, it can be awkward to have a direct and upfront conversation about boundaries, particularly with family or family-to-be! But having the conversation early in the process - in a firm but friendly way - prevents conflict later on, especially as you get closer to the wedding day when emotions will likely be running high. Enlist your partner to help enforce the boundaries you set, particularly if they need to be set with future in-laws. Some boundaries you can set
“I want this process to be as stress-free for everyone as possible, so I would appreciate it if no one asks me about losing weight (now or ever)!”
“Mom, I would love for you to come with me to go dress shopping, but if you’re going to be involved, I need you to make supportive comments only (which could sound like…)!”
Be ready to respond to inevitable body/weight comments.
Rather than being caught off-guard when someone asks whether you’re going to lose weight for the wedding, it can be helpful to have some planned responses that you can easily turn to. You can always just keep it simple and just say, “No, I actually have no interest in that,” before changing the subject! (If you need more help, feel free to check out our blog post all about responding to diet talk )
Have a dress-shopping game plan.
First, remember that the images we see advertised aren’t representative of real people - especially when it comes to wedding dresses, which are often modeled on women with highly unrealistic - and likely Photoshopped - bodies. While it’s impossible to avoid these images entirely (especially if you like to browse online!), it can be helpful to remind yourself that these photos are not realistic.
Parents, siblings, friends, and pushy salespeople can all be the source of frustrating, unwanted comments about your body and losing weight to fit into a dress. Don’t be afraid to be judicious with who you bring along to a dress appointment or fitting - and let those who are coming know that weight-related comments won’t be tolerated.
Finally, remember - what really matters is how YOU feel in the dress, not how other people feel about it! It may be helpful even to first try on dresses away from the mirror to test for comfort first, before turning around and seeing yourself in the mirror. Comfort should always be #1, especially on your wedding day!
Engage in self-care to destress and to feel your best on the INSIDE.
Many brides-to-be can feel as though the stress of wedding planning takes away from the joy and excitement of the actual event itself. Finding ways to destress - whether it’s meditation, giving yourself a manicure, or taking a walk - can help keep you centered and grounded so that you feel your best mentally and emotionally leading up to the big day.
If you’re feeling stress and anxiety about body image in particular, engage in self-care practices to help manage these feelings - for example, writing in a gratitude journal about what you’re thankful your body can do (for more tips, see our blog post on managing challenging body image days).
Remind yourself of the significance of the day and why you’re getting married in the first place!
At the end of the day, take a step back and ask yourself: What do I want to remember about this season of life? Your wedding is about you and your partner and the commitment you’re making to each other - not about anyone else, even if it sometimes feels that way with family members involved. Remember, you’re marrying the love of your life - who loves you for you, not for your size or your weight.