6 Ways to Approach Hard Body Image Days

1.     Your Worth is Not Defined By Your Body

Wrapping our self worth in our bodies can be a slippery, very dangerous path. Feeling like your own value comes solely from your body (its appearance, skills, athleticism, youth, etc.) is problematic. Why? One thing is for certain, as we go through life, our body will change. We are not marble statues…it is normal and completely okay for our bodies to change.

If this sounds like you, I highly recommend beginning to make a list of 10 attributes you value in yourself outside of your body/appearance. If you’re struggling to get started, ask a friend or family member a reason why they think you’re great. For example, you could be a thoughtful friend or have a creative mind. When your mind goes to negative body self-talk, remind yourself of one non-body attribute you love about yourself (that is non-body related). For example, maybe you are a thoughtful friend or are a generous sister. The idea behind this technique is that we can begin to see our worth outside of our bodies - characteristics of ourselves that are unwavering.

2.     Try ‘And’ Statements

When negative body thoughts arise, the ‘and’ statements can be helpful. They can help to take the focus off of our body, and onto other attributes of who we are. This is where we utilize the attributes list in #1 to combat our negativity about our body. For example, if you are having a negative thought about your body you would say that to yourself and for many of us, the thoughts begin to spiral downward. Instead, try first using a more neutral description of how you are physically feeling (rather than using terms that describe a societal expectation) and then adding ‘and’ to the statement and stating one of your non-body attributes from #1 that you admire about yourself.

For example, “My body is challenging me today AND I am a thoughtful friend.” Holding space for these two thoughts can feel challenging at first, but can be a very helpful practice to remember that as humans we are dynamic and not one-dimensional. This technique helps you from staying stuck in this sensation and reminding yourself of other qualities you value in yourself that have nothing to do with your appearance.

3.     Remember: Your Thoughts Are Not Your Reality

This is really more of a reminder - to take a step back when you’re having a negative body thought, and recognize just because you are having a thought, it does not make it your reality. Try journaling your self-talk thoughts. How does it feel to put these thoughts on paper? Ask yourself, would you say that to a friend or family member you love? How would you respond to them if they were feeling challenged by their body? Typically the way we speak to loved ones is a more compassionate, kinder voice than how we speak to ourselves. How would it feel if you spoke to yourself in that way?

4.     Show Gratitude For Your Body

When your mind goes to a negative critique of your body, acknowledge it by stating something you are grateful for about that part of your body. For example, if you find yourself saying “my legs are too big,” pivot, and say something you are grateful for about your legs, such as “my legs are strong and allow me to play sports and move freely.” Try this with any part of your body you get stuck on, in a negative way.

5.     Try Narrating

When you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, stop and begin narrating your surroundings.

For example, “My legs are big. <<STOP>> The grass is green. I see the leaves blowing in the mind. The car is parked in the driveway. My coffee cup is empty, etc.” If you get distracted with the negative thoughts, come back to narrating.

By working on this you are training you mind to focus on other things besides your negative thoughts. The narrating is like training wheels – it helps you begin feeling more comfortable with changing the thought pattern. However, with time, your mind will be able to stop the thoughts without needing to narrate. This is all about retraining and refocusing our minds – and takes practice.

6.     Practice Daily Affirmations

Affirmations, such as “I respect my body” or “My body is worthy” are statements you can say to yourself when negative body statements come into your mind. Sometimes changing how you view your body needs to start on the inside out – and although affirmations can seem cheesy at first, with time, they really can become your truth. Download my favorite ten daily affirmations into your inbox today.